I guess it isn't enough

Well I don't know ho I did it, but I did and it sucks.

Apparently I have gained 5 pounds, I am now 170 pounds.

How is this possible? I am out burning down at least 1600 (max of 2000) calories every day, via riding, and some work in the gym.

I don't understand it.

I am eating really properly, granted its a lot but I mean I get roughly 4000 calories daily just to stay at weight, right?

Apparently not.

Regardless the next endeavor is to lose that 5 pounds. It is gonna suck, but I have been through worse.

and you know when you feel fat, its just like nothing fits right and you can barely look at yourself in the mirror. Well, yeah kinda what's happenin.

I don't understand, it pisses me off and I wish something would really just start to go my way.

Or maybe, I will get all the shittiness of life out this year and the next years I can just be smooth sailing in the coming years.

So how do we resolve this?

Smaller meals, and no eating after 8. I mean I can't really think of anything else. Like I don't know where this came from. Oh well, give me 2 weeks to a month and I will be back on it... I hope.

Sunday was a bit of a scare, my back kinda gave me a strong ache... instant thought "oh shit" but I stretched it out, and all was fine.

I am scared, that due to this car license bull crap, my racing schedule is going to take a heavy beating. Not something I was really expecting, you know? And it's so hard to see all the guys around here; Mike, Isaac, Knapp, etc all talk about their races and stuff and I am just like... I shoulda been there. Once again life will get better; gotta keep that chin up. Just going to have to extend the racing season as much as I can.

I am just ready for school to stop, especially with spring break just around the corner. Our math teacher was pretty cool and was like o yeah, how do you like 25 problems that take 5 to 10 minutes each? Sound good? COOL...My focus is on the same level as a ADD chimpanzee.

Jamie and I are going to Chicago, on Wednesday next week, should be fun. nice little break. Hoping I can get a hold of Chad and Lisa and see if they would be up for dinner or something like that. I miss them. Word has it that Chad has a team bike for Get a grip, how sick... I am jealous... Next year, I am only a freshman. I have time. But at the same time I don't.... You know?

OH BOY team camp March 28-30 for Hand Center. Full expenses for Log Cabins in Nashville, HELL YES I AM GOING!

Well racing plans are up in the air.. it is supposed to be 30 on Saturday, that is not racing weather. that is training weather but I have no desire to have my heart Jump out of my chest for a whole 60 miles.

Lotsa uproar in the blogs about the DQ on Saturday, whatever.

I miss you guys.

Time to work